Never forget!

You’ve probably seen this story…


… where a man from Kentucky was forced to eat his own beard.

I’m originally from Kentucky and my girlfriend loves to give me grief every time this story resurfaces. She’s a really good writer with a sick sense of humor. A recent email exchange:

M:
This showed up on Reddit’s second page–“TIL.” http://metro.co.uk/2010/11/15/man-forced-to-eat-own-beard-580571/

Me:
How can I forget?

M:
Just remember, late at night you’ll hear what you think are footsteps. You’ll dismiss it as the cat walking around, turn over, and go back to sleep. Moments later, you’ll get that feeling that someone is watching you. You’ll sit up in bed, look around, and realize no one is there. You’ll try and go back to sleep, but before long, you’ll hear the “snip snip” sound of a small pair of scissors. Cuticle scissors perhaps. The sound comes closer, closer, CLOSER.

You won’t realize what’s happened until you’re coughing up bits of your own beard. You’ll remember your Kentuckian brother, the one who suffered the same fate, and you’ll shed a tear.